Whispers in the Dark Ep. 61: Tom Clancy’s Taqueria Impossible

On this spooftacular episode of the Whispers in the Dark podcast, the crew talks about cookie cutter indie horror, Chris Hemsworth verses Jesus, Nintendo’s troubles, terrible music, the best portrayal of Satan in media, Marlboro’s official sponsorship of Silent Hill, stupid ponies, Whitney changes her name to Heather and runs over Captain Planet.

Please leave feedback, share, subscribe, and give us a nice review on iTunes when you’re done listening.

Host: CJ Melendez
Co-Hosts: Whitney Chavis, Zack Furniss, Kyle Campbell, Tobiichi Karlsson.

Duration: 02:12:10
File Size: 75.6 MB
Format: MP3

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Intro: ‘Collard Greens [feat. Cyanotic]’ – Symmetrical Syndrome

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  • Whitney Chavis

    I don’t think I ever said who my fav pony is. It’s

    • Tobiichi Karlsson

      Yay, Derpy!

  • Wojciech Olczyk

    Too bad you didnt read and talk about what i wrote about my project on HellDesent ;(

    • Sorry, we were on a silly tangent!

      • Wojciech Olczyk

        I know…. i change YT title to be more specific… now i know to place all info in comment and dont let you do research on your own 😛 I will be back on when i will have more video to share ( nobody is interested on both forums HD of SHHS so i didnt post more interesting stuff)

  • Ahmad Al-Hamily

    Yare Yare Daze! Always glad to know there is a Jo Jo’s Bizarre Adventure fan out there 🙂 especially on this podcast.

  • rem

    Countdown to episode 100 and “Jesus and Thor Lovers or

    01:13 To 02:37

    Whitney: I’m still waiting for episode 100 because something
    special happens then.

    CJ: No it doesn’t! No one remembers, that person probably
    doesn’t exist anymore.

    Whitney: Nope! I remember and their here. It’s Rem and um Brady.

    CJ: No, it was someone else who came up with that. It wasn’t

    Whitney: But you know Rem’s waiting for it. With the wiki
    and everything.

    [I may update that wiki one day!]

    Whitney: I haven’t forgotten so I will remind you when it happens.

    Tobi: I’m going to assume we’re talking about the musical,
    the musical episode of the podcast.

    Kyle: No it’s CJ’s name.

    CJ: That’s all it is.

    Zack: Cabbage Juice

    Whitney: you made a promise and you’re gonna keep it.

    Zack: Crucify Jesus

    [Crucify Jesus has now overtaken Cabbage juice as the
    funniest guess of CJ’s name in my mind]

    CJ: That’s a little dark. That’s a little much for the first
    5 minutes.

    Zack: -to CJ I think- And now you write about games.

    CJ: Wow, what a great
    lineage I have.

    Zack: you made these choices not me

    Kyle: Remember Zack. Zack is Thor and if you’re Jesus that
    means he’s got a hammer and he’s going to nail you to the cross.

    Zack: Oh, yeah

    CJ: That is fucking horrible, welcome to the whispers in the
    dark podcast. In 5 minutes we’re already making fun of Jesus getting beat up by Thor the Norse god of thunder.

    Tobi: alternately might just nail you.

    Zack: That’s true

    CJ: oh god, I knew this was gonna be an energetic one.


    Chris Hemsworth worshiping and racial vilifying

    2:36 to 4:16

    Kyle: why did people in Denmark thousands of years ago worship Chris Hemsworth, I don’t understand.

    Tobi: hold on why wouldn’t they?


    CJ: Oh, god

    Tobi: I’m sorry let’s go back to talking about Jesus.



    1:26:00 to 1:32:50

    [Tobi beat me to this one but I am adding it anyway]

    CJ: Her body looks fine –about Heather Mason-

    [At least it gets better later]

    Whitney: CJ I have a question for you, so if you had the
    chance to have her [Heather] would you refuse her because you don’t like how she looks?

    Zack: that sounds really weird.

    CJ: like for free, or buy?

    Tobi: this is just keeps getting worse.

    Zack: yeah, awful

    Whitney: you guys are being perverted! No!

    Tobi: CJ’s being perverted.

    Whitney: if it was free.

    CJ: Oh, yeah! I’d
    love to review them. I was going to keep reviewing them but Toymonkey

    Zack: you want to objectify her.


    Fav ponies and Brony documentary, captain planet, Silent
    hill cult and world record attempt

    1:37:15 to 1:51:44

    [this is the best thing ever! Tobi and Whitney just talking
    about MLP and everyone else throwing in an ‘’Oh, god’’ in the background]


    Whitney: I like friendship is magic I think it’s a really
    cute show, not so keen on the fanbase

    CJ: No, no get out we’re going to send you to military

    Whitney: What? No! You’re not my dad!

    CJ: Yes I am!

    [Hold it! So If CJ was Pregnant and Whitney is the Father
    and Whitney’s father is CJ then that means… Ok I have it! Whitney gets CJ pregnant through time travel and stuff then CJ has Whitney as a daughter! So in conclusion Whitney is her own Father!]


    Whitney: Guys I have something to tell you.

    CJ: Are you Captain Planet?

    Zack: What?!


    Whitney: Silent hill fans now are “The Order” who’s going to
    join me in “The Order?’’

    [It’s just as CJ predicted Whitney’s Silent hill Cult

    CJ: you already have an Order

    Whitney: No I don’t. shut up.

    Tobi: we’ve already gone through this, a bunch of weeks ago.

    CJ: The Ro

    Kyle: See when you recruit people you can say ‘’Can I take
    your Order?’’

    CJ: Whitney?

    Whitney: What?

    CJ: when can you have a pizza party at Dominos then I can
    come over.


    Whitney: alright, my names changed now to Heather Mason


    Silent hill Shit edition

    01:51:45 to 1:53:18

    Heather: Are you guys going to call me Heather?

    Tobi: Yes Heather.


    Tobi: I guess I’m calling all silent hill games “Shit
    something” from now on.

    CJ: Shittered memories, Book of Shit. Shit coming, Shitpour

    Tobi: Silent Hill 4 The Shit.

    CJ: Shitty Dreams

    Tobi: Shitless dreams

    Zack: I never had one of those.

    CJ: You never had a shitless dream?

    Zack: Never ever.

    CJ: I’m so sorry.

    Kyle: Shit hill Revelations

    CJ: Silent Shit

    Zack: Shit Origins


    WITD pizza party

    1:53:53 to 1:55:13

    Kyle: Everyone, everyone listening.
    At one of the Domino’s in America. One of them Whitney will be there I mean
    Heather will be there and she will sign all of your merchandise, so if you have
    a copy of Silent Hill 3 you get Heather “Lord of Silent Hill” to sign it.

    Zack: We should get so much money
    from Dominos.


    WITD Meet up!

    1:57:45 To 2:00:50

    Heather: Hey we should have a Rely On Horror meet up
    somewhere and get together.

    Tobi: Rely On Heather.


    Kyle: there’s a lot of crossover between Star Trek and
    Silent Hill


    Making video game characters real

    2:00:50 To 2:06:47

    CJ: If you could make a video game character real who would
    you chose? Heather

    Zack: We don’t need to she’s right there.

    Tobi: She’s real, reincarnated in the form of the new

    CJ: Heather is always Heather, Heather has been Heather

    [not a pun CJ]

    Tobi: and Heather shall always be Heather. Till the last
    star has burned out in the sky.

    Whitney: I shouldn’t have said anything.

    Kyle: It’s good!

    CJ: This is good stuff Heather.

    Kyle: This is fun, right.


    CJ: I’d like to see Sonic.

    [But what about Teddie?! You love Teddie!]


    Kyle: I think, I want Albert Wesker because and then he
    would have to be my roommate and we’ll have a sitcom based on it.


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