Review: Space Mutiny

“To be honest, my Trash Compactor section is all about crappy movies that are so bad they’re good and while this website normally focuses solely on the scary, this section is all about the crap – no matter what the genre (although I will try my hardest to stay as close to horror and space as I can).  I would like to precede this review with a thank you to my father for his sense of humor and raising me to love the garbage as much as the truly beautiful productions out there.  We definitely have the same sense of humor and I honestly believe that with the appreciation I have for both good and terrible films, I have a well-rounded perception and knowledge of what’s out there and what’s worth mentioning.  So, thank you dad.”

This section has a rating system as follows:

Trash, Trash Heap, Garbage Truck, and Landfill

This film was unleashed to the public at the end of the 1980’s in the wake left from sci-fi epics the likes of …oh, I don’t know… “Star Trek,” “Star Wars,” and “Alien(s),” just to name a few, so it had big shoes to fill if it was going to make the any impression following the coat-tails of the aforementioned behemoths.  Although it had all of these great franchises to draw influence from, the movie failed in every aspect yet somehow managed to stick with the audiences that have actually seen it, which is a feat of its own.    

Megaman's long-lost foe: Beef Man

1988 was a year that released many classic titles: “Die Hard,” “Child’s Play,” Short Circuit 2,” “The Naked Gun,” “Coming to America,” “Who Framed Roger Rabbit,” “Beetlejuice,” and many more, but this is one title that stands out from the rest, however; a movie that pushes the boundaries of acting, special effects and the usage of beefed-up floor buffers.  What is it, you ask?  It’s a little movie called “Space Mutiny” – never heard of it?  Well until about 10 years ago neither had I, but I am so glad I came across it because it is one of the shittiest productions I have ever set eyes on.  The best part is that it is SO bad –in literally every aspect – that you will laugh your ass off through the entirety of the film.  From the over-done and cheesy opening credits to the last and hugely predictable shot, tears will be streaming down your cheeks.

It's a buff to the death

Following a young buck named Dave Ryder, a pilot, the story is pretty straight-forward.  Aboard The Southern Sun, (the ship where the story takes place) a mutiny is brewing when Kalgan, (played by John Phillip Law) leader of the Enforcers, and a handful of devotees become restless in the seemingly endless search for a new world to colonize.  Kalgan plans to commandeer The Southern Sun to bring the waiting to an end and rule his own world of space pirates.  That’s about the gist of it.  Throw in some beefy yelling scenes with the protagonist, some creepy yet over the top laughing by Kalgan and a few good floor buffings, and you have your movie.

mihihihihihahahahahaha

Although the movie isn’t terribly hard to follow, it does veer off-track repeatedly and by doing so compounds on the unintended humor.  We have some extra-cognitive females who –at least to me- are a cheap version of the powerful legion of women called The Bene Gesserit from Frank Herbert’s classic book series, “Dune.”  They really serve no purpose other than to take up screen time, but they do add to the cheese factor with their static-electricity balls and terrible eye-shadow.

If a basic story, bad acting and useless characters weren’t enough to make this film memorable, then toss in some terrible –and I mean TERRIBLE- continuity issues.  For example, at one point in the movie there is a standoff between Kalgan and Lt. Lemont in a dark corridor where Kalgan kills her.  In the next scene we see a bunch of crewmembers typing away at their computers, you know, pretending to compute futuristic space things, and in the center of the shot is Lt. Lemont!  Apparently death means nothing in this film, but if that were the case then the film’s story would have even less meaning.

With all of its flaws, “Space Mutiny” is still one of the most fun experiences you will ever have watching a movie.  As a bonus to anyone who has seen this film traditionally, “Mystery Science Theater 3000,” (or MST3K), a television series that pokes fun at terrible movies got a hold of this one back in 1997 and it still reigns as probably their best roast in the history of the show.  They hold nothing back and point out virtually every flaw in the hysterical manner that they deliver so well.  Make sure that if you have yet to see this, you do. 

 

FINAL OPINION: LANDFILL

               
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